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daniel tosh @danieltosh
the battle of the asshole coaches is really coming down to the wire. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
ok stephen ross, you got your man harbaugh hired at michigan. now how about fixing your little side project in miami? #sellmethedolphins — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
lebron just wanted to be a big fish in a polluted pond. #lakeeriejokes — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
the average woman spends 2.5 years of her life deleting photos of herself. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
...but will they cover? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
kobe wouldn't care if the lakers lost tonight 32-100, as long as he has all 32 and breaks the record. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
hey @miamidolphins, instead of #strongertogether, i'd settle for a few selfish studs and a head coach with some balls. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
no one hates the @miamidolphins more than a dolphins fan. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
if you’re wondering why i canceled my uk tour, it’s because you limey prudes just banned my two favorite types of porn: fisting & squirting. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
i did it! — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@iMcManus4 keep swiping — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@90minutetape we still have each other — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@CflyB i die at the end — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Martzsy i don't think that's a thing anyone does — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@kyweezybeeitch i would pay to go to the game and then stay for the mens game after. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@JoeSorbaro not this year joe. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Almighty_bills no thanks. in the future, all presidents are randomly screened for PED's — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@kelslv413 time flies when you're this good — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Mitchapollooza it's not always about you, it's a good lesson to learn — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@fuckinforrest mixup over at corporate, probably — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@madeoflightin don't disrespect the president — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@numbertwopencil when will you be 14? — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@Str8_OuttaLine it's coming. they made us bury it at the end — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@BrockJR_ probably grab a little cake then take a nap. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@AdamGriesinger it's a hoodie, and it's pleather — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@geniustyles body — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@06shelbystang get ready for jeb bush in 2016 — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@txheartsharry @susan_rhodes this seems very suspicious, suze and rach — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@bobthegreatooo the new testament and a chance at salvation. — PolitiTweet.org
daniel tosh @danieltosh
@DALTONYDG chester a. arthur and he knows why — PolitiTweet.org